#omg !!!2!11!!!1!

"My new husband is my father's age"

"My best friend is so slutty. She walks around letting people see her ankles, and I'm just like stop, I don't want to be associated with that!"

"I was just searching for a coin that fell near some flowers and now she thinks I pick herbs for my witchcraft sessions. She says I'm going to the inquisition tomorrow."

*ive seen this program thing but I don't know what it's called, do you guys know? :/