Sad Coffee

What do you call a coffee in love?
A sappuccino.

And what do you call a musical coffee?
A rocha.

And what do you call a fun coffee?
A patte.

And what do you call an uncooperative coffee?
An American'to.

And what do you call a crazy coffee?
A wachiatto.

And what do you call a happy coffee?
A happyccino.

Several bad puns later...

What do you call sex between hot sauce and coffee?
Srirappuccino
/I got nothing
//orders pizza