Why are all my toys made in China?

"Please bring […] from the dead. I bet he would mock you."
I want to see the entire message D:

Santa, you got some real explaining to do...

Dear little snot,
Shut up, kid. Maybe if the elves weren't such whiny lazy bastards then I wouldn't have to hire cheap labor.
From,
Santa
P.S. You're on the permanent naughty list.