Who are you Humpty?

Historical evidence suggests that Humpty Dumpty was actually a cannon used by the Royalists during the English Civil War. During a vicious battle in 1648, the cannon fell from a battlement and was unable to be recovered (i.e., put back together again).

Oh...oh god...think I'm gonna throw up...

Fuck.

I had a good childhood, Aaaaaannd it's gone!

It was originally a riddle and the answer was him being an egg

Mind Blown. . . .

I DEMAND THE BLOODY HUMAN VERSION OF HUMPTY DUMPTY.

It's about a five year old boy whose family was put to death in cruel bizarre ways. He was dropped into a pit full of spikes.