As someone who almost never orders coffee

yup

Me

me as an Australian trying to order at Starbucks

One time my dad tried to order an ariana grande...

I really like coffee and all, but I have no idea what the types of coffees there are, like cappuccino, frappe, latte, etc. I was at a musical theater to see "Stomp!" and I wanted to try a Snickers cappuccino. I didn't realize that it has foam, so when I went to drink it, there wasn't anything coming out (there was a lid on the cup). I tipped the cup back suddenly to get to the coffee and my tongue was fairly burned. I couldn't taste anything for a while.

When I cannot find a Tim Horton's and am forced into a Starbucks I get dirty looks from the employees when I ask for "An ordinary large black coffee" like some uncultured swine.