Wut.

My dad once tried to pick me up off the couch bc he thought I weighed less. Long story short he dropped me on the coffee table and I needed stitches. First thing he says on the way to the hospital 'don't tell your mom! Or my mom!' Now he just lets me sleep on the couch.

I just cover my face up with he blanket and make noises until my step dad goes away

This would be my husband. I get so comfortable on the couch at night and he bugs the hell out of me until I finally get up to go to bed.

This is so acurate.

If they want me to move off the couch I make them carry me or give me a piggy back ride.