Naming my 4 children

Epic.

and if you marry a guy named jesse, you can forever be jesse's girl!

and get a lizard named harry. youre a lizard harry

Have a son. Name him Bruce. Introduce him by saying, "Here's Bruceeeeee"

Marry a jessie, and change your name to james.
So you can always say when you come together, you both come "at the speed of light, surrender now or prepare to fight"
Oh yes, buy a talking cat if you must.