It IS funny because it's true

but who else is a stalker

Hopefully not the stalker. By the way, I'm trying to make a comment about what is going on in your life, but I can't think of anything so I will state that you have almost no cereal.

FALSE! I just bought a new box of cornflakes two days ago.

unfortunately you dropped the box on the ground and all the flakes poured to the floor

F-FALSE! Again! *gathering up cornflakes* I was just, uh, giving the floor some food! Haha! Yeah!

Oh! Makes sense. I forgot to do that today, gotta go and do that.