I choose the stick

Ashes get the marines dirty so they are forced to go home and clean themselves up. Stick win every time

But it isnt a stick! Can we actually give respect and credit to the men and women in service of the military? This post was meant to be funny, but for real, lets all give them the respect they deserve.

You said it yourself, this post is meant to be funny.

Doctor Sherloki?
Stick. Win. Every. Time.

They could eat the ashes.

Who eats ashes? Stick win every time.

You're right, they'd snort them instead.

Who snorts ashes? Stick win everytime.