U fukin twat Dave

Well, you know old Dave8493. Doesn't know how to make friends.

This gets me every time

So one time when I was walking my dog I had this weird craving for chili. This craving increased throughout the night, so at 3 am, me and a mate of mine went out for some chili. Now all of the restraunt , and grocery stores were closed at this time of night, so we decided to go to The Place. The Place was on the far side of town, the side of town where if you part your car, you'll come back and find it missing four tires, the bumper, and all of the paint. Anyways so me and my friend John went over to The Place, now my fight or flight sensors were off the charts, so I was ready to run faster than a rabbit with tabasco in its anus. We approached the steps to the place, and my friend trips, so I take off running. Im panting, running as fast as I can at 3 am, then I trip. I lie there face down, accepting the fact that I'm going to do by some murderer who is going to bash my head in with a brick. Turns out it was my friend, who tripped over a stick at a velocity that sent it flying to me.