Because the female body is a shitshow

So accurate.

Preach it sister!

This happens to me every time.

Literally (at title and relates to pooing in the post)

Its Diarrhea

Wait until you're pregnant and then you've a third option - "is it the start of contractions?!?!?"

...and then nothing ever happens. I just sit there on my phone praying for a change.

It is mighty comforting to know that we ladies are in this together. :)

It's usually both