There are the frequent squirrels that we feed, and their names are Albert, Scrappy Jim, Barack, and Michelle. (Plus a rabbit named Rachel, but that's a whole other story). Now I'm gonna focus on Albert. He's named both after Fat Albert and Albert Einstein, because at the time of our meeting, he was FAT, and he was highly smart. Over the winter, though, he went on a diet and lost a lot of weight, and he's not that fat anymore. Anyway, the way we fed him in the winter was that we would stick a piece of bread on the outside handle of the door net, and he would use his claws to climb up and feast like a King. But then we noticed that he was actually making small holes in the net, so we stopped. Bad idea. A couple of weeks ago my brother went down to the kitchen, and right in the middle of the net he found a large gaping hole, and Albert sitting peacefully on the kitchen table. Now whenever he finds the glass door open, Albert lets himself in, dines on whatever is on the table, and leaves.
I'm sorry.
Karl, King of Squirrels