I found where the grandmas get them from.

You've found it.
The Holy Grail of grandmothers everywhere

I've always called these "meat log candies" as they would come with the sausage and cheese gift sets

WHERE THE FUCK IS IT
I LOVE THAT SHIT

those things are the basis of society

Those things spawn in my grandma's purse.

you've located patient 0

These things are the SHIIIIIIT