He can only be one thing

Fun fact
Because of Twilight, I managed to convince a kid I was a vampire way back in year 8.

Edward looks so done.

You don't sleep, you have weird posters all over your room, eat Japanese snacks and never go outside... I know what you are!
Say it!
Otaku!

You're pale as cotton, you absorb blood... I know what you are.
Say it. Out loud, say it!
A tampon.