Small problem

I'm glad you have no girlfriend

Does my hand count?

Yep, equating sex with money in a relationship will most definitely get you no girlfriend.

So with no girlfriend, you have to pound yourself?

Gee, I wonder why

if im going to be forced to make sex a thing for monetary exchange you better believe ill at least pick a dude whos gunna give me more than a dollar a go.

Breaks up with her right before Christmas and buys himself fallout 4

Sounds like a great idea

That's fucking genius