Checking webmd for a friendly diagnosis

Me: I've got a very bad headache
WebMB: Definitely AIDS

Me: I got stomach cramps
WebMD: You're Pregnant.
Me: I've never had sex.
WebMD: ... You're the next virgin mary.

That's not an elbow.

Me:I'm working perfectly just bored
WeMB: You're dieing..
Me: Ohhh fuck how long do I have
WebMB: A nice 30-40 years :) *walks away*
Me: *standing in astonishment*