I think I just solved world hunger, by finding a new high-energy source of food

Is it just me or does it seem everyone is allergic!?!

Uranium allergies are pretty common, and the effects tend to be pretty bad. Anemia, hair loss, death, rashes, it's a bit worse than most allergies.

Almost sounds like radiation poisoning

No its just a really bad allergy.

The symptoms are glowing skin and shortened life span upon consumption.

And a hankering for human flesh

Yeah, I know, people who can't have uranium annoy me so much. I love it. What's that? I'm bleeding everywhere again? Oh well, must have the flu or something

Right? People used to eat Uranium all the time, but now they say things like, it causes cancer, or it's toxic for your liver. I know a guy who ate Uranium, and he was alive for the rest of his life! It can't be that bad.