take me out (to the ball game)

I thought you meant to date the rifle

You're dating a rifle? a sniper? I mean... now I just feel like I'm prying

I'm not dating one, but it could be cute. Put a small bowtie on their scope and maybe a nice watch on the grip.

... I'm starting to get concerned

Lube the mechanism well and shoot your own bullet down the barrel.

...They are going to need to add a letter to LGBTQ for whatever is going on in this post

No, there's already a whole slew of letters that have higher priority. Besides, G already stands for gun.

Gotcha, I've been reading it wrong the whole time! Funsubstance, helping us understand the social issues like Lesbians and Gunsexuals.

What about us demonsexuals!

Darn SJWs and their made up sexualities. It's always been Lizards, Guns, Bicycles, and Tarts. Don't go adding on weird letters

*cries while holding a demon looking pillow*

Why you hating on poor ol Satan?