It's embarrassing to admit it, but I pushed that button without reward for far too long.

No, that's UNREQUITED love. Love most people feel is more like you have a recipe for cookies that most people like okay, then one day you meet someone who offers you the most amazing cupcake you ever had. So you give them a cookie, and they think it's the best cookie in the whole world. And you each start making your cookies and cupcakes only for each other, and then you start sharing a kitchen and its so great, cause lookit them there in their little chef's hat and apron being so cute. And it's difficult, because one might develop diabetes and can't have sweets or one might gain a little weight and need to cut down, but you hunker down together and tweak your recipes for each other, and eventually you've got your own little private, personalized bakery. And when the world gets shitty that's okay, because when you come home you have a special cupcake made just for you waiting because they know just how much chocolate or raspberry you need.