Captain crunch has been lying to us

Commander crunch

My...whole life...is a lie.

That rat bastard! All these years... I got my mouth all cut up from his cereal! I thought it was worth it!

For some reason I used to eat every cereal except Captain Crunch. I knew something didn't seem right about that shady fucker. Ironman knows, people.

This here is why I have trust issues

Thats because his arm in up

But it's not Captain... It's Cap'n

Hey he still paid his dues he can wear what he damn well pleases....