I heard whales love Mars bars, actually

The ink would fade fairly quickly, though. The plastic would have become brittle and broken up into smaller pieces in that amount of time exposed to the elements. I don't think that's been floating, laying around that long.

You don’t need to make up FA I shit to scare people about plastic waste. When you do, they will assume that all warnings about plastic are also fake.

Or someone bought it at a gas station or from a vending machine about three months ago.