And this is the reason I'm so pale

This is 1000% accurate

Aw, he even has cameltoe. Or moose knuckle?

I've always hated one piece swimsuits because if I get my size, they are always to short to fit, and if I get a size or two bigger, it is so baggy!

True and painful story...

Sometimes I'm just so gratefull for being a guy, this is one of those times

Who's the model in The first pic???