You sure are

But in every show or movie it only takes like 12 minutes to give birth

Thats nothing my brother was 2 weeks late and took 28 hours

That's cute.. I took four days

This kid looks like an old man.

Daniel Tosh once said something along the lines of women's punishment for leaving the garden of eden was menstrual pains and difficult childbirth.
You know what men's punishment was? Having to deal with women.