My dad was really poor growing up, his parents worked on their farm, had 3 other jobs, starved to send him and his 2 sisters to boarding schools. When they died over 30 years after my dad and aunts graduated they found out that my grandparents were still in debt. Dad and his sisters have worked hard every day since to repay their education and are now all middle class.
The poor are not the problem and much of the privilege that comes from being upper class hugely goes by unnoticed; working to support family instead of doing homework; grades falling with privilege gets a tutor and extra help; standards and expectations are different in terms of grades at school, pursing higher education, jobs they'll get; the recommendation from parents and friends to get into a good job etc.

Shouldn't be the victims responsibility regardless of gender

That's not true. I have suffered both and your feelings do matter. You can't stop taking care of yourself to help them. As cold as it sounds your first duty is to yourself, you can't help them if you're going to fall apart doing it.

Where are you in Australia? I'm in Victoria and call them water fountains

I've been in both situations and it is far worse to watch someone you care about suffer

There are also a lot of larger people that are naturally that way, someone I know has been hospitalised and nearly died from anorexia, obsessively excessive etc. and they are still really overweight whereas one of my other friends eats loads, is incredibly unfit and is one of the skinniest people I know. Sometimes obesity is not a choice and nobody asks to be fat even if they do eat a lot and not get any excercise.
Also being the friend of an anorexic whose anorexia started from being bullied about their weight telling someone that they're too fat is not a good way to go about the situation and can end up killing them while smoking doesn't have that side effect and can hurt the people around smokers.

Like a really good point