Because of a credit due to my employer's bankruptcy, I had to file my taxes with paper for 2021 instead of electronically. Hope you're not expecting thanks or praise for tying up the IRS resources and delaying my refund.

Where's their safe space?

Looks like they tried to pay the web designer in "exposure."

"We're from the UN, and we're here to help!"

Plot twist: He's explaining "Feminist Issues" to them as a professor of Womyn's Studies.

I'm pretty sure my neighbor is an Indiana University fan and her husband is an Ohio State fan. I mean, there are red flags.

Those idiots didn't know he was *Master Chief* Halo, who had to find the ring, etc.

"Hello, God? Ahhh yes. I have a $10,000,000 (Ten Million USD) treasure which we cannot now spend due to the political situation in my country, and I will share with you if you will but give me your bank account number to facilitate the transfer..."

Attempted to put a cat in the state of "plasma," but only succeeded in achieving the "gaseous" state.

Grolak: So, some humans organize themselves into a fantastically loyal one-direction symbiotes, and they become happier or sadder depending on the results of a game of skill.
Blorgdork: Yeah, we know. They paid to attend the same educational institute, and their loyalty is placed there.
Grolak: No...not even. For some reason, people who were never even *in* the city which is the home to that "university" adopt that characteristic. Have you used the viewer to observe the Indiana group participate in the game of bouncing-sphere-in-net? Or the Notre Dame squadron participate in the running-and-kicking-oval-ball activity?

Having designed certain products, sure there were cheaper ways to do it. BUT...the specification required the product to work after five minutes immersion under 10 inches of water, work after exposure to a salt water mist and subsequent drying, a drop onto concrete from a height of 45 inches, and rigorous testing and statistical analysis to show that the validation testing would meet the specs (only some listed above) over a 15 year life. Under life-or-death battle conditions after years of use, I hope that X-Box controller still works.

A hippopotamus
Bit my bottomus.

There's an entire genre of...errr..."Japanese Literature" devoted to that...

"I lied to her bout something. How can I dig this hole even deeper?"

I think about that every time someone lies to impress a potential date...if the relationship starts going anywhere, then at some point you have to admit that there was a big lie at the beginning, and maybe even that was the initial attraction which means the relationship was FOUNDED on a lie. Or, the relationship goes nowhere and there was no reason to lie in the first place.

Think about George Costanza claiming to be a Marine Biologist.

What a jerk. I hope the authorities don't come over and rub him out. But maybe from his point of view, it can't be beat.

Arguing with someone at my 120th birthday part over how I got that old in perfect health with complete mobility, where the other guy is saying it's thanks to my vast wealth, and me saying it was thanks to the prodigious amount of bourbon and beer I could consume.

Doubly appropriate, because that's the generation where EVRYBODY is an All-Star.

1. Pretty creepy, so he's lucky to have gotten outta there.
2. You'd think a journalist would know that there are some thoughts you can have, but you shouldn't put in writing, and you REALLY shouldn't make available publicly.

If you wouldn't discourage a daughter from liking tractors, and even encourage that, isn't it sexist to *not* encourage your son to like whatever he gravitates to?