To be fair, cheese

Put her on trial for animal cruelty. Or put the 100 dead bunnies on her doorstep. Or both.

Either the brain or skin. Become computer smart or become impervious.

I misread it as 1990 at first and boy was I confused

That’s the Carlsbad Caverns! It’s a national park in NM. The whole hike down smells like bat poo.

Precious as heck

Mistake

Do you want to lose your fingers? Because that’s how you lose fingers.

5 second rule

To have 5 generations in 99 years means they breed rather quickly in that family

Since Dr. is a title that supersedes Ms. or Mrs. it is an appropriate response to the question.

Watch out for any acquaintances named Edgar

Protect him

I have a vastly unpopular opinion: I despise Michael Scott, and can only watch episodes from after his departure

Cheetahs are apparently super nervous animals when in captivity, so many zoos give them support dogs to help with their anxiety!

I used to live and work in Zion National Park. The lodge and restaurant are 25ish minutes into the canyon. Like to drive there you are going down the middle of a huge ass canyon, several thousand feet of cliffs on either side of you.
A tourist came in and asked the front desk if there were any canyons nearby.
I lost all faith in intelligence right then.

Modern problems require modern solutions

Since I’m about as boring as a rock, I’d get 3 billion without changing anything about my life

Trying to hold in a sneeze when someone else presented during class. I ended up making a strange elephant-esque honk and everyone knew it was me.
More than 10 years later and I still cringe for middle school me.

Slightly disappointed that ‘vanquish your enemies’ is not a square

And even if you politely and calmly explain how they’ve treated you, you’re to blame and should forgive because “we’re family!!!”