When you in da hospital but bae is horny af

*grabs bleach
"Here's some juice ;)"

For a second I thought it was a shoe lace

F-u-c-t
What is he
Fuct
What is he
Fuct

Lost bone found at the park

When you high af and bae says come over my parents aren't home

I'm crying

When yo squad has you smoke weed

Friend: (whistles)
Brother: what the fuck is wrong with you

Parenting done right

Does anyone else remember the time when they lifted the suits and the guy's hat went up with it

Starts listening to radio
Call me maybe comes on
FUCK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

It does NOT go with the Bombay twist by Bombay Royale

Monday

You think it's bad, try owning a shiba inu (aka doge)

You got to be the ball

I want the on with a big hole

Wow, that's so Reagan

I didn't like because it had 666 likes and don't want to fuck that up with a post like this

Until someone takes it on Mars or the moon

Except they start jumping on you they're like: give it to me you piece of shit

(Stuffs it in weights)
Me: see dad, I'm doing my workout

Go fish :)

All 3 stages of life
Kid
Young adult
The 40 year old perv