As a student who's currently undergoing an existential crisis because of the shitload of homework I have to do, I must say this is quite accurate.

I now know Morse code because of your dad's handy-dandy chart.
Thanks!

Looks like he...
*Puts on Glasses*
...fucked up.

Ain't NOBODY got time to talk 'bout JESUS.

Natural Selection, do your thing.

No seconds to Mars
(Because Mars is a RED Planet)

It looks like Carl hasn't skipped out on Arm day.

I literally broke down crying once Giosue said:
"WE WON! I GOT 1,000 POINTS! WE WON!"

Good ol' RaceWalking.
The most FABULOUS sport there is!

I smell something burning...

Dayum son.

Bruh.

I never played flappy bird because I always had a deep fear that it would corrupt my mind.
Slowly eating away at me from the inside out,
DESTROYING who I really am, or ever will be.
No, I couldn't risk having my own life snatched away from me,
By the wings of a retarded avian,
As I sought solace in a world of conformist zombies...

Knowing me, I'll probably be depressed for days knowing that I drank all the tea that goldfish (tea bag) was swimming in.
I have issues over tea bags, guys.
I've issues over FUCKING TEA BAGS.

Mom stahp.
Ur embarasing me.

Yep.

Me:
*Draws Equivalent of a Chicken Nugget*
I DREW EUROPE!

Did you know that 5/6 Doctors agree that Russian Roulette is a safe game to play?
:D

Japan will be Japan.

My favorite was Jammie Jammie-Jammie, from THE Ohio State University.

Ballpoint.
...
Uhh... I'm just gonna leave now...