Once I got bitten by a bat and had to get rabies shots (they hurt like hell) but anyway, i took some meds and they made me loopy so at 2 in the morning my mom found me out in the backyard screaming
“COME TAKE ME MY OPOSSUM BRETHEN AND SHOW ME THE WAY TO IMMUNITY”
I’m not exactly sure how I got out there but. Yeah

Well it’s effective.?.

Redneck hunger games

My fatass thought this was a giant tub of marshmallow chocolate ice Cream

I thought this was two gifs

WHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT

...yet she goes in there anyway.

Oooh he stylin’

On drugs

She shook

Looks like Otto from wall e

They threw him back on I’m dead

I’ve been there

That happened to me once. I was in the car with my mom and some guys driving like a maniac swerved in front of my mom. She honked and the guy GOT OUT OF THE CAR and started yelling at her for some reason and then he flipped her off and left. Then about 5 minutes later, we saw the same guy
He had rear ended into the back
Of a truck
With a skull and crossbones
And a heavily muscled biker guy (mustache and all) got out of the car
We found out the guy had to pay 2000 dollars in damages.

I ain’t got nothing wrong with my brain but I still tell jokes non stop

What the hell

You spin my head right round