"This isn't makeup."

Brad Pitt didn't need another million dollars jeez!

But no refunds

"Am i lion here or lying here?"

His instincts are about to kick in...

Take the shortcut she did.

Jeremy spoke in class today.

He started with 1001...

A showerhead of doom

The feedback would have melted Charlie's ears.

Good for this lady.
I do awesome stuff all the time but I don't brag about it.
Did any of you hear who stopped the ghost of Stalin from taking all of your children? You're welcome.

Yes Wendy but I wasn't expecting a footlong.

That's when you gotta take the time to stop and smell the roses. And the mailboxes. And the sidewalk.

"We're gonna skip the Mona Lisa when we get to France"

George is probably down at the clinic making sure that she goes through with it.

There's a janitor out there who is the Michael Jordan of janitors... And they cleaned that

He's getting a brotherson or sisterdaughter

*Scratches head*
... girls really don't brag about this stuff right?

The shirt did say surprise

They're attempting fusion!