When the order says "delivered" but it takes one more business day

Insert Matthew McConaughey rookie numbers meme

Good thinking grandpa

"Hope you guys like 'Wonderwall."

So regarding "big sausage pizza 24" no one really ordered a pizza with a wang stuck through it.

"It's the NSA agent that bugged your house"

This what happens when shredder wins.

*eats pringles*
They told me this was a judgment free place!

The day you got married was the most important day of you life. For me it was Tuesday.

I'm sure he doesn't mind the old tug and jerk

Absolutely

I would hate for someone to find that teddy ruxbin that I keep near my pillow

I love the episode of deep space nine when Cisco sings "The Thong Song".

All of my answers were "kill the batman"

In unrelated news...one of Gordon Ramsay's London restaurants has been robbed and then burned to the ground.

Well it didn't scream before I put the hole in the back

If he grants my wishes then I'm gonna rub the shine off this thing.

"Besides...i can teleport them straight to hell. So that's nice."

Is it accurate considering Rey called it garbage

I'm wearing mine right now. Usually the solution is naptime.

Mine discovered my love for break dancing in the womb

I imagine that 1% to be some sort of super germ.

I too have tried to stop the tide