She would most likely be looked into and banned from traveling to the States on account of:
a) being Muslim
b) being born of Iranian Kurdish parents
c) being born in Iraq

Fuck. Poodles are vicious. Chihuahas are vicious. Chow-chows are vicious. Dachshunds are vicious (not Datsuns!), even Dalmatians are more vicious than Pitbulls.

I did not stop to think about this, as I presumed everyone knows what it is.

First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.

this should be a movie in itself

Jesus was born in Bethlehem, Palestine. He would definitely be banned from travel to the US. That is probably why the US does not recognize Palestine as a self-governing State ;)

The twist is he saved M. Night Shyamalan's career.

It's commonly attributed to Hemingway that he was out one night partying with friends and they dared themselves to come up with the saddest shortest story every.
Put in that context (sadness) people are inclined to think the shoes were bought but the baby was stillborn / died before wearing the shoes.
Without context I can see how people might think that something else had happened.

he was being romantic, she was moving on with her life.

Indeed. Also, use a garrote (piano wire is fine) tied to two bits of wood to just cut it... much more effective.