Completely agree, Blackadder is *by far* his best work as a comedian, and he talks his elbows off. But then I reread the subtitling and it says "worldwide", and that's also true. Mr. Bean (unfunny to me) achieved worldwide status, but not Blackadder...

His the CAP is on

Adulthood got in the way, I'm sure

The problem with all this is that Apple is claiming something that may be very easy do disprove and might be digging a deeper hole for itself.
It all boils down to this: the suit has to prove that Apple is doing this with full knowledge and intent. Basically, "power management" is fine. It tweaks performance so that the phone is less demanding on old batteries (albeit, we should get the option to reduce performance). However, they claim it only acts when the battery is old (an as-of-yet undefined number of charge cycles).
So, theoretically, if someone were to replace the old battery with a new one (which ironically voids your warranty), the software tweak should not activate and performance should be in line with what iPhone reviewers published during their launch reviews. Anyone can try to disprove this and if Apple claims one thing and it is proven they are lying, then it's a fairly open-and-shut case. It'll take certified labs and experts to prove it in court, though.

you might not be Arab, then