Relatives at thanksgiving: "Why don't you have kids, and why aren't you graduated?
Me: "You such a damned monster!"

Should be Norsism

Or....ya know, don’t grab the cat’s face like that.

I once quit a job at a call center and a year later accidentally got an interview at the same place.

That’s depressing.

Assuming that all white people hate black people is, in fact, racist.

Would you like to possibly get robbed? Because that's how you possibly get robbed.