Why do door stoppers always show up when I have bare feet?

As a nail art addict, I don't like it either

Promote whoever came up with that sign

Is that you Sheldon?

But then look who's telling you that your brain thinks that.

Not to mention she wiped her tears with $100 bills!

Ton français est super!

Never.. I'm just too perfect

You keep using that word "letter opener" but I don't think it means what you think it means

"The meal is not over when I'm full, the meal is over when I hate myself" - Louis C.K.

You better draw them as heros then!

But if you're a lawyer and a man does that cancel and mean you're nothing??

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown

WHERE'S THE HOLO? WHERE ARE MY HOLOSEXUALS?

*triggered*