See this joke didn't really work for me because I'm Australian and we say zip not fly. I just stared at the gif awkwardly.

Ah the problems of the socially deformed of the world. Once a guy told me I was sexy, so I punched him in the head and ran. True story I swear!

Too soon

The temptation to get scissors and go to town is high.

The voice in my head started yelling "MAAAAARIAAAA"

I tried really hard to not laugh!

Stupid teenagers and their swag shit.

People really like Aussie accents?

Never felt as lost as I did reading that post.

What the hell is bisexy?

Ah the two extremes of ageing! Haha this cracked me up.

Did..did the writer get more and more tired as the night wore on?

If I have a child and they for some reason feel like eating a pineapple I can finally use the response "do you think pineapples grow on trees?" Ungrateful bastard

I had a math teacher who hated me so much idk why, maybe it was my bad math cover songs "they try to make me go to math help I say no no no" version of Amy whinehouses rehab, anyway the asshole called me dog in class so yeah that is my pointless story with no plot or climax. Cheers :D

Mother fucking "sexually experienced people" talk too much about their exploits.

I now know what's wrong with world, people don't think they can be ducks and that really hurts my feelings. Fuck you duck haters.

You are a good egg, your parents did well :D