I call that Nope Mountain.

The cure for baldness is billions of dollars.

Fashion by Themyscira. Take my money!

Peta is a special level of retarded.

It's the racing snail from Never ending story.

Hillary isn't president. Move the fuck on. Let's deal with this Orange Traitor and his Nazi agenda.

I'm 44, and still waiting for it to happen. Wife and I just ordered pizza at 9:30 in the middle of a Justified marathon, while working on Dungeons and Dragons characters (her, not me).

Insert John Wick joke here. Couldn't have been more poetic if he killed him with a fucking pencil.

Why do people think this would be so fucking hard? It used to just be called living.

Where the fuck is that school, Raccoon City?

If he had poured some of his shitty whiskey on it, it might have fixed the infection.

If my cats did this, I'd stop feeding them until the rat problem went away.

Followed shortly by a child porn arrest.

Marry someone who is also your friend. In February my wife and I will be together 20 years. We love the same types of movies (horror, sci-fi, fantasy) we like the same types of music, we both play D&D and video games. We do everything together, and 20 years later we're still deeply in love, because we're also best friends.

That hasn't been an issue since my wife has been premenopausal. Hot flashes rock.

A little?

And this stupid shit is why I can't read DC Comics. He lifted a planet? What the fuck was he standing on? It's like the Flash running faster than the speed of light. Read a fucking physics book.

Unless you're talking about "The Dude".

This has been the plot of every villain in every movie for the last two years. Big swirling shit in the sky. Next comes the sky beam.

Crystals are fomites, meaning they have little pores that bacteria can live in. This is a good way to get a fucked up pelvic infection. This is that Gwyneth palthro Goop nonsense.

So, you're not a Republican.

Looks like someone painted the nails on a velociraptor.

Now he just looks like a Bond Villain, not an Austin Powers Villain. Such an embarrassment.

I get really tired of people who act like such fucking martyrs because they have kids. You're not a superhero because you decided to spawn. You're not special. Your kids are not special. Get over yourself.

It's actually the sign of a genetic heart defect. I had a cat that was about 2 yrs old when she fell off our dresser and died. The vet said it's common in North American Short Hair cats. Cats aren't supposed to pant.