I'm surprised they didn't miss his flight.

I remember playing Mario Bros on the first Gameboy, the handheld game that was the size of an 8-track tape with a monochrome screen. That was the bomb!

It doesn't help if you have pilot's license, either.

If I did this, I wouldn't have a phone to screenshoot it with, or the fingers to work said phone.

People, calm down. This was written as a joke. It probably didn't really happen. I remember hearing this joke ages ago.

At least she knows how to properly maintain herself...

"I'm board! Can we change the channel?"

I was taught that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. Then everyone continues to ask me why i'm always so quiet.

Check, please!

Some guys are used to forcing open pages of magazines they already "read."

"The difference between right and wrong is a matter of public opinion."

He's wearing the Lamb of God!