That's one set of parents that are not going to get their baby

"Venomous flying bear" hahaha. We would all be extinct. They would sound sound like airplanes.

So at what age do they start to learn to change their skin to match their surroundings?

If Q-tips had four legs

Science Easter egg in Shrek. I love it

My uncle was in the special forces in South America during The 80's. Mainly in Columbia chasing Escobar's men. He has this stare...

I dunno. If you look at the top right, you can tell the red roof goes above the flat part of the wall. Most of it is flat tho.

Slap? I'd slap some seasoning on him and cook him.

Haha this guy was awesome

Take some shrooms, get on a scooter, and go for a long ride.

"Dad, you look like a garbage bag, that is also drunk"

What states bc I need to move to one of them

Yep. Got my money that's it's gonna suck

*sings* nope nope nope, condoms all day long

Not sure how you're supposed to see that any other way

And a giant flacid dick

I must have it

*plays Miss May I*

You could write an amazing book if you handed out those $10 recorders to random people. Let a month go by and listen to their stories.