"You've been single for a long time now"

I work at an animal shelter, and every now and then a parent will come in, and without them saying anything, we all know what they're going to do with the dog they have on the leash. Everytime we hear "He got too big" or "We didn't know she required so much maintenance" all the workers die a little on the inside, because this isn't the first time we've heard that and it won't be the last. Most times, the dog is still wagging it's tail even as you walk out the door. Sometimes, they cry when you leave, and don't stop until long after you're gone. The worst, I think, is when we find dogs on the side of the road with collars on but no one comes to get them. When that happens and my shift ends, I hug my own dog a little tighter, and try not to think about the ones I left at the shelter who're never going to get a hug again.
A dog is not something to be bought lightly. It's a life, same as yours, and worth much more than to just be disregarded

Science, bitch.

This makes a weird amount of sense

He heard you guys had coca cola

I want this printed out and inbetween my hands when I die

I didn't realize we were in the movie Grease

I live in a windy area this would not work

This car doesn't look like you can have sex in it

I don't see a downside

I thought it was Killer Frost at first

He knows what he did

I'd rather fuck with aliens than take my chances with whatever's at the bottom of the ocean

I don't know what to focus on first

I need more in-depth instructions

This gets funnier the more I look at it

This is the best one yet

I'm so eggcited to see you

Why would you hurt me in this way