The ordering food one is so true. I actually get to the point where I plan conversations with people in my head and then without realising start saying it out loud (at this point I die of embarrassment)

I read it like 10 times trying to find a sexual reference until I realised

If you do, you win your very own Darwin Award!

He even fucking named the partial body sticking out of his torso

Or when the razor scooter fucking betrayed you and swung around to hit you in the Achilles/ ankle

I think it might be a bit fast. I dont know though the speed I was singing it in my head didn't match how many compressions per minute you need

Reposts, reposts as far as the eye can see

"just like yo dreams"
and I wouldn't say that most of the stars we see are dead by now? Like a good proportion would still be alive. The stars that are bright enough for us to see live for ages and ages and ages, so it's most likely they are still alive in the 1500 light years (thats the closest bright one I believe) it takes for their light to get to us

I don;'t know where they go, and I don't know when they go, I just hope they go to a good place :'D

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? This fucking troll apparently

My teacher just death glared me for laughing at this out loud in class at this shit

And then your brain makes a list of everything it could have done in that time

This is something that I didn't know I needed until now

taff magazin

oh my god "spock"

most

She looks what, maybe 10? This is more than I will achieve in my life time :'(