Speed works too, is cheaper and healthier.

Omg, there are more than one culture in Earth. Quick, complain about it on the Internet.

Except you don't exist.

Until they start using baby seals' dead bodies as sextoys.

Alternatively, for people who live neither in the USA nor in third world countries: guns don't exist, just enjoy your life.

Ever tried to fill a bottle with spunk?

Eh. I wish I had had that book when I was a kid. The shit I was put through...

It's not hard to tell my girlfriend and my rabbit apart.

In the Netherlands you can actually get your drugs tested.

I'm confused. This is actually good advice. You can't have a constructive rational conversation with someone who's yelling, so it is a waste of everybody's time and energy. Better come back when the other's calmed down.

I understand none of these words.

If only there were an institution teaching you skills eight hours a day, five days a week, forty weeks a year for twenty years...

Quick googling for non-American people like me: "easy mac" seems to be a brand of something with which you can prepare a dish called "macaroni and cheese", which is just pasta with some kind of cheddar, but like, even easier.

Girls do that? What would they do, for example?

Bullshit. It's a molecular cloud containing dust. Dust grains have diameters of few micrometers, bigger than the wavelength of visible light, making the cloud opaque at these wavelengths. Look at the very same cloud in the far-infrared, like 1 or 2 THz, and it's totally transparent, and you can see the newly formed stars inside.

Or he's not gay at all and was fantasizing about the imaginary perfect sexy girl he was impersonating, and not the dudes hitting on her.

And after that, you lose more friends than you make.

Now put the bread around it and it's fast food.