I would like to point out that John Bobbitt was an abusive husband and allegedly raped his wife before she cut off his... ahem... yeah. I just felt like this post insinuated that this list of people did what they did because they were rejected. She also felt bad and was the one who called 911. There's always more to the story.

I have thought this for SOOOO long!

I met up with some internet friends at a concert once, and I was walking through the parking lot afterwards, and they called out to me. So, as I'm walking over, a security guard jokes, "You're holding up traffic. Is that your ride?" I replied, "No, those are my new friends from the internet."
I wish you could have seen the security guard's face. He looked absolutely horrified.

To an extent, but I'm not going to mind my own business just because some serial killer wants to be happy...

I keep hearing all these complaints about girlfriends that won't decide what they want to eat. I'm sitting here like, "I know exactly what I want." Maybe that's why I'm single. Too decisive when it comes to my food.
PS. In case you were wondering, If I had a boyfriend, tonight, I would have told him I wanted grilled cheese, Taco Bell, and McDonalds fries. ... And, not or. That's how decisive I am.

That's because you've got them in the wrong order. The Legend comes after the Rise of the Guardians (the prequel) and the Guardians of the Galaxy. And the Titans had to have wrath before they could clash.

One time I told this (super duper awesome) guy that my roommate and I had spent an hour and a half going through all his Facebook photos, and instead of being weird, he sat next to me for about four hours going through his Facebook and my own, trading stories back and forth. It was pretty awesome. Because I'm super weird, but he was like, "that's cool."

Isn't it weird that we actually have receipts though? Like, guys, BIRTH CERTIFICATES. And when people ask you to provide your birth certificate, it's like when stores ask for proof of purchase.

I know this is supposed to be an insult, but that's a great idea. I want this.

I am the media.

I once posted this on social media and several months later I got a message from a guy who had a thing for one of my roommates that said, "on october 9, you posted something about stalkers. I was wondering if that was about me." It wasn't, but the fact that he had to ask should have told him something....

I always feel like the customer is judging me when I check the bills. I wish there was a subtle way to do it, like a light on my side of the counter, but NO, they make me hold it up above my head right in front of the customer.

1) I'm Canadian. Thanksgiving was last month.
2) Winter doesn't begin until December 21st. If you want to wait that long to celebrate, then that sucks for you. It's snowing outside, so I'm gonna party it up.

Oh! I feel it keenly!