When she wears the same outfit but you clearly look better.

Wow I never realized the walls and floors of spongebob are painted...

I didn't know I wanted this until now!!!

I'm a squib, but thanks to the internet and my ninth grade English teacher, most of the story was spoiled to me.

This happens to me often, but I'm always with people who I know know the subject better than I do so I'm just like "omg you explain it" and then they do.

Imagine canadian grass.
You: *step on grass*
Grass: Sorry.

Trying this again.
"'Give me my money too,' said the man to Cynthia. 'This is bullshit.'"
...

I love how jaden's just staring at him like "dad, are you /implying/ something?"

There's a frostbite advisory in my city because of the wind so for the love of all things holy pLEASE STOP WHISTLING

I once woke myself up by knocking my nose against a wall in my sleep. I have no idea how, all I know is it was really painful.

No, I'm not crying that's... sweat... from my eyes...

He's wiping his tears with his money.

Okay, that was NOT an accident, someone planned that.

Mini heart attack when my phone's not in it's regular pocket, but rather in another pocket/my purse.

"You look fine, I swear"

Went from 921 to 706 like wut?

F-finish? One can finish binge watching? So there are people out there who don't just switch to a different series when they're caught up?

That sounds like something Kanye would say.

No guys I did this and the spring is what cut and broke the cable.

Alright, here's the secret so you all can know. My dad actually taught me the way one day: you treat it like a drum. The shell of the watermelon would be the skin of the drum, the fruit would be the emptiness of the drum. If the skin is thinner, the drum will sound more hollow. If it is thicker it will sound a lot less hollow. You want to go for the thinner shelled watermelons (the hollower sounding ones) because that means there is more fruit on the inside.