Omg mom you're so embarrassing

wtf is this? how is that even supposed to be attempted?

Tony survived terrorists

Air Canada isn't really expensive at all but it's absolute shit quality as far as flights can go. Unless it's a partnered flight (but thats only for international) then its pretty decent.

I fall into the Expert category

Clockblocked

So whenever someone cards me I can just say "I'm the same age as the universe," and get away with it, right?

When that pronunciation is just right

I speak three fluently and understand around six. It can get confusing lol. Also i have this on a shirt but with french instead of german

Why would you let perfectly good cotton candy go to waste like that?

"Dude. I was sleeping. Rude."

This makes me so uncomfortable

I have seen this cycle through the internet so many times and I just now see how strikingly it resembles a Donald Trump debate.

My best friend is gay and my dad thinks that he will turn me gay as well, which doesn't make any sense because I am a heterosexual female. Legit we talk about boys together.

Me @ exams

Wtf she dont even got any chest shes not even fully developed wtf wtf wtf

Fun story. As a kid I used to idolize my mom. She was the closest thing to a goddess I knew. And she wore glasses, so naturally I wanted to have glasses too. I knew she didn't like the glasses, but still I wanted glasses. She would tell me why she got glasses (watching the TV too close, or watching it for too long, not eating carrots and fish, etc.) and she told me all of those things as a warning but I went the opposite route and when she wasn't looking, I did everything she told me not to. Now I wear glasses, and I don't mind them much, just that they're heavy and keep sliding down and it just gets in the way in pictures. :P

"This here's a donkey. Maybe you would know it as an ass."

Me @ this semester

Yeah seriously who leaves their door open like that?