Somebody give it a hug and a cup of hot chocolate

True my laundry blew off the line. I had to wash it again

Knowing Brendon he too is probably higher than his hair

It's 2016! Do people really still have a problem with the female in a relationship earning all or even a majority of the family income?!

Me at any social event

I mean shoot a person and its all "murder and prison" but shooting a zombie is perfectly okay?! Double standards ugh!

Pro tip: maybe giving a girl tampons before you ask her out isnt the best idea...

Another big problem with the educational system is a lot of the time is spent learning how to pass exams instead of learning things that are useful, interesting, or important. For example my english teacher spent an entire class talking about exactly how to structure an answer to a poetry question and exactly what points we should talk about to get us the most marks when what would be much more interesting and importantly is learning about how to interpret the poem and finding a meaning to it you can connect with or even how to write your own poetry. How are people supposed to value education when most of what we are learning we can forget about when we finish school without any consequence?

Or you could just butter both sides of the toast. It's less hassle

The only reason I'm so good at lying is because of my strict parents.

Ive never seen this breed of cat. Whats it called?

The gorilla looks like it's planning world domination, the horse looks like it's seen some shit it can't understand, and then there's the koala who looks high

My dance teacher's logic

When the spider that was there a moment ago vanishes

Is that Shia lebouf in the background?

"That doesn't matter right now"
True I've exams

Whip off my bra in the middle of the street and not give a shit