You can also stick it in your microwave

But I don't want my pupper to float off into space :(

My cat is stupid. She meows at me even when there's food in her bowl and won't eat until i shake her bowl and act like I'm adding food to it

That would be awesome if it ended by the judge saying, "Guilty! Your sentence is having to deal with reality for another day." and then you wake up when he pounds the gavel

Doggo gets a vision

It always bothered me that when you turn 18 and stop being a minor, they just call you an adult. No, I want to be a major

Can't do that here in the US. Some idiot would probably consider that offensive

18. The government actually started poisoning gasoline and hurt a lot of people because people could get drunk off of it

Help, I don't get it

I want one of these so I can fall asleep at night

This is around the time Morn and Mindy got more weird than funny

EXTERMINATE

I called a shamrock a clover the other day and got lectured for a good 20 mins

On Jupiter, we just get stupider

Rude

Don't take this advice people

Those are some sick waves