That would be me

As an accident prone Libra, that sounds true

He do

*repeatedly hits head against brick wall*

"where's your Ferrari?"
Mate, I spent that on sanitary towels and tampons

I cannot sit next to my day or sister when they eat. They drive me insane

I'd be stuck there for ages if I'd visited for New Year's

CUTENESS OVERLOAD

I'm in England. Its was snowing. In April. This is not natural. Send help. Preferably the Avengers

Don't ask how it happened, I don't know how, but I've been using insolent gummy ring for the last couple of years

Wait, who killed Spidey??

I think I now ship chocolate

I once saw a van for a fishmongers, saying "fish so fresh, even the next of kin hasn't been informed".

It is actually fake, if you look carefully you can see the backgrounds don't quite match up

My Dad is called Nick

Just try it