My dad is completely convinced that he saw Zac Efron in a circus, and now refers to every young pop/disney male star as Zac Efron.

"jif"

Dear Sir, thank you so much for parking your wank chariot like an abortion. I understand it's difficult to park when failure is an integral part of your life, but perhaps next time you could pull your head out of your arse. Sincerely, A competent member of society.

I saw him at the premier for Catching Fire, and I swear to god, that man is a freaking oompa-loompa. Seriously, he's tiny.

In my school it says: Sitting on the toilet, gotta take a doody. When the doody hit the water, water hit the booty.

There's a bunch of yarn bombs right outside my apartment building.

Everyone knows that they're just gay sharks.

Maybe then I would actually watch.

Those things were awesome.

Eric is the king of comebacks.

It kind of looks like he's playing Mario on a microwave.

Cheeky/flirty

That's actually really gross, when you think about the fact that this is what consumers want.

psychic steel