we bananas prefer to call it “autoerotic asphyxiation”

7:05 AM because god hates us

if we all drop out of school,we’ll all win!
obviously i’m being dead serious!

can i not just think of a fictional show’s premise without being immediately judged for it

*take on me, take me on

remember when i literally said: "the guy doesn't know about this"?
the guy would think that he is sending the puppies back wherever they came from when in reality they are going to someone else who qualifies for them.

not my fault if you can’t english

Oh dear, one person can’t quote another one? Didn’t know that was illegal.

that’s true

color*
truck*
trunk*
chips*
it’s not very difficult, you english weirdoes

what if people apply to receive the puppies they want, but the guy doesn't know about this. so he sends one away and it goes to a little poor girl who desperately needs a friend. then when he feels guilty about the whole thing they show him a video of all the puppies playing with their new owners and he's with his puppy and he's like "aww, you guys!"

does that mean the wife had a miscarriage and is going to pass out while they climb up a hill together?

i dunno. In a perfect world, my suggestion could be the case :(

yeah, what if you’re too poor to move out?

i was being sarcastic. hence the Zooey Deschanel/Katy Perry thing

that’s a lot of freedoms

yep, it’s completely offensive to say that the cop looks like Carlton, a beloved character on a popular TV show.
by the way, it’s offensive to say that Zooey Deschanel looks like Katy Perry, you racist racism doing racist!

the mom in this fake story

Cute and cuddly, boys. Cute and cuddly.